Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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