I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
