He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Is it because I queefed?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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