i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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