her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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