I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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