That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
