Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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