her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize