Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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