if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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