I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
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I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
There r osticjed everywhere
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
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There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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