she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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