dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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