The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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