Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
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Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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