dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I've blown a few things in my day
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
