dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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