My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
