It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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