it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize