So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize