omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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