If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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