So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
