Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have fence marks all over my body
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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