Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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