fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
