So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
