I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
sex in a hospital.. check
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
