Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
