We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
