we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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