she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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