I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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