I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
