do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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