It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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