it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize