what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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