I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
This gyro tastes like lonliness
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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