OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
