it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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