I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
