with your own penis?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
