I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
