oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
