i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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