Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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