He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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