Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
false alarm. still invincible.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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