Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize