somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
