there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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