Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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