Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
