oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize