none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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